Be Informed
Keep track to guide your journey in a healthier direction.
“I knew what it meant; I just didn’t know how to explain it.”
I chuckled to myself as I heard the “me” part of my oldest child shining through. Our 5 year-old had just asked me to explain what ‘famous’ meant (now there’s a topic for a blog post…). As I explained the term to her, my mini-me child chimed in from the other room with her adamant – and likely genetic – tone of voice that oozed a mix of confidence and hurried concealment. More often than I would like to admit, I have used the I know, but don’t know line of excuses. Reflecting on that moment reminded me of a recent statement I read (coincidentally by a ‘famous’ person) that left me square in the middle of knowing, but not knowing again.
The comment was in regard to life changes and circumstances that had left this person feeling less-than-full emotionally and how they had begun to work toward purposefully filling their cup with things that made them a better version of themselves. In part they said,
“[I] considered what I’m already drawn to, what I already know wakes me up and brings me life and I leaned in.”
Lean in.
I’ve heard that or a variation of it more times than I can count in the past several years. Yet, I have to admit it is still a bit of a struggle to really capture what the phrase means. I mean, I think I know, but not well enough to explain it. So, the timing of a conversation between children, a scroll-by comment and the writing of this post may have been orchestrated to provide a little clarity for me and hopefully you as well.
Like so many things in life, it’s not complicated but that doesn’t mean it is easy. Just as ‘famous’ means many people may know of you, but not truly know you, I am learning that in its simplest form “leaning in” is making room for more of something. So, by that definition we each lean in to something – if not several things – all the time. The key is making sure we choose our leaning wisely.
See? Simple, but not easy.
We are each wired for give and take. There are those things that light a spark and make us feel alive, refreshed and ready to tackle any obstacle. Then also those obstacles, responsibilities and tasks that purely require a withdraw from our emotional, physical and intellectual tank. That’s the crux of the matter. When people tell you to “lean in”, they don’t mean to just lean into anything. What they are really saying is,
“Find that which spurs you forward, renews your strength and restores your hope and then make more room for it.”
As simple as it may sound, that is what I had been missing. I didn’t get it until I noticed the “already” parts of the quote. The difference between living in chaos, exhaustion and overwhelm vs living in peace, rest and contentment is “already knowing”. Already knowing what refuels you. Already knowing what makes you feel better. Already knowing things about yourself. The thing about already knowing is that it starts with learning.
Historically I have been lazy on this front. I could make excuses and some may even sound impressive. Yet, they are still excuses. I don’t want to survive. I want to thrive. I want that for you as well. Yet, until I am willing to take stock, any changes made are based on little more than a hunch.
Plainly stated, you can’t change what you don’t know.
It doesn’t matter if we are talking rest quality, anxiety, diet, exercise, relationships, housekeeping, purpose, work efficiency, or any number of life moments in which I would like to thrive. If I am not keeping track, it is highly unlikely I will experience the growth and joy resultant from leaning in wisely.
It may sound rudimentary, but it’s worth a try.
If, like me, you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or stuck at times – start keeping a list. This is not a keep/toss kind of thing (although it is completely likely that learning more about ourselves will lead to a little of both). This is a simple list of habits, foods, people, situations, or other life moments that contribute to your day. Then note the effect they have on you. Use words like connected, tired, excited, awake, rested, sluggish, content, angry, happy, loved and other simple descriptive terms. This helps inform a type of roadmap toward choices that add quality and help balance the parts of life that are hard and unavoidable.
Taking one area of life at a time and evaluating choices and outcomes, you can begin to create healthy boundaries, say no to unnecessary obligations, experience rest, add peaceful moments, remove unwanted expectations and lean deeper into things that fill dark spaces with light and create wholeness on your journey.
written by Kelli Keller, D.O.
The article referenced can be found here. This is provided out of respect for the author’s contribution through the story containing the quote used. This is not to indicate that livableYOU supports the publication or endorses any other stories held within the publication.
